As far as I know my online friend is alright. It got to the stage where I couldn't really handle thinking about her doing it and trying to talk her out of it because it was taking a toll on me, and then a second online friend starting saying how she was going to end it. I just couldn't cope. I was so worried and frazzled and just getting really ( Read more... )

I walked around the streets around my flat today and took some polaroid pictures. It took me ages at first, because I get all shy and worry about someone doing something to stop me, and people seeing me and thinking I'm crazy and all of that. I walked for ages until I got to a park like four streets down and then started taking photos. I only got ( Read more... )

So the story goes that I went to bed at 9:30pm, and Mark "went out" after that, and all I'm supposed to know is that he didn't come to bed until 2am. That's what Azaria will think I think anyway. I really do know that Mark went there, and I really do know that Azaria finally admitted that she probably would have sex with him. I know that that's why ( Read more... )

Well the whole paranoia about the computer suddenly dying turned out to be true. I probably shouldn't have turned it off until I knew that was going to happen. I turned it on and nothing but that stupid Privacy Tools Kit or whatever loaded, which is the thing that kept popping up yesterday telling me that there was like 839274 discreditable files ( Read more... )

I really, really, really hate it when something happens, and Internet Explorer freezes, and all is lost. Round two.

The mood has gone from a girly, giddy high, to something more contemplative and calm. I'll get back to that high when I go over (again, after the annoyance has worn off) the details that got me there in the first place. Ally probably ( Read more... )

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I want to lose weight. And not in a "oh my god I'm so fat and ugly and no body will ever want to see me naked" type of way. I'm just so unfit, and my stomach is a little tiny bit pudgey, and I don't want it to be. I used to be fit. I used to be able to run around a soccer field and not die. I used to be able to hold my leg parallel from the floor ( Read more... )

It is so hot lately, hotter than I like, and I love the heat. Give me summer any day over winter and I am happy. But right now, right now it's just too hot. It's uncomfortable, and impossible to escape. And it's late as well, it should be getting cooler and it just keeps getting hotter. It's like summer has been extended for another month or so, ( Read more... )

I am not, I repeat, am not, going to do anything with Adam. I couldn't. Mark and I have loosely talked about me being intimate with other men, with no reference to who we'd be talking about or why we were discussing it, and it was obvious that it was something he wouldn't be comfortable with doing for a very long time, if ever. He joked about me ( Read more... )

I'm changing. I can feel it. But it's for the better. Definately for the better.

I'm sure that I'm beating this. I'm sure that I'm coming out the other side; that now I have been through the darkest part of the night and the sun is finally starting to rise. I feel way more confident. I know I can do this. And I know I can do it by myself from here ( Read more... )